Monday, 15 April 2013

Welcome to my blog!

My name is Helen French. About 3 years ago I read a book called "Change Your Questions Change Your Life" by Wendy Watson Nelson
( Deseret Books) In this book the author talks of how asking yourself the question "If I were to believe...." can open up new possibilities for anyone who tries it. Asking myself this question has changed my life!

Four and a half years ago, my husband left me after 21 years of marriage. We had six beautiful children, five of whom were still at home. My world seemed to crumble around me with the many consequences of his actions during and after our marriage. For some time, I struggled in my own pain and loneliness with the added heartache I had for my children. I was anxious as to how I could possibly be all that my children needed and I struggled to fight off feelings of worthlessness. There are many things I have learnt over the past years to help me heal and leave behind the heartache of the past. 

This question "If I were to believe....” was one powerful thing that helped me turn my thinking around. It helped me begin to believe I was deserving of good things. 

When I found myself feeling discouraged, lonely or drained, I would ask myself:

 "If I were to believe....that I am a good mother and I am doing all I can for my children right now; what would I be able to do differently?" As I pondered an answer I would decide; "Well, I would stop sitting here feeling they are helpless and wounded and I would get up and go have fun with them." Then, I would do just that, despite our heartache, we have laughed a heck of a lot since then. This has helped us all move on.

When I found myself feeling alone and wondering if I would ever have someone I love to share my life with, I would ask myself: "If I were to believe that I will one day meet a man that I love and who loves me with all his heart and treats me with respect and kindness, what would I do differently today?" My answer to myself would be; "Well if I really believed that, I'd get up and be happy. How exciting! If good things are coming I would want to be ready for them?" I decided that I needed to be the kind of person that I was looking for, so that I could give my whole heart too and not come to a new relationship wounded and downhearted. 

Thinking like this made me smile, it gave me energy to get up and be positive. I didn't think about looking for a man, I thought about what I could do to be the best version of me. I knew also that if I never did meet someone, then the worst that could happen by  asking myself "If I were to believe..." was that I would become a better person each day with a stronger way of thinking. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain!

Has "If I were to believe...."made a difference in my life? Well my children and I are still laughing and ever moving forward and on December 8th, 2012; I married a man I love with all my heart. He treats me with gentleness, love, kindness and respect. He knows and loves me deeply and we laugh a lot together! My children love him too and with his 13 year old son added to my family, we now have 7 children and we are still smiling!

What could be different for you if you asked....

If I were to believe....

Warmest wishes

Helen French

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